Jul 16, 2007

Fiction fragment: Pooja's First Date

Newly wed Pooja waits for her husband to be back from work. Subbu,promised to take her to a place that sold the best biryani ever. Pooja was excited as it was her first time out to a restaurant with Subbu after her wedding. She wanted to look her gorgeous self. She applied her favourite Mac eyeshadow and lipstick which she purchased while she lived abroad. She wore a sleeveless white kurta on her skinny Levis jeans. She wanted to show off her red bag and her red Italian shoes. She then waited patiently in the balcony looking at the road below for a black bike to approach her apartment.

Pooja was restless, excited and nervous . She looked at herself many times in the mirror adjusting her curly locks. She remembered quickly that she forgot to wear her favorite perfume from La Occitane. She looked through her closet and sprayed a bit on her clothes and a little on her hair . She knew Subbu would like the smell.

The door bell rang, Pooja opened the door only to find the laundry woman return her clothes. She picks all her clothes and pays her the amount due. The laundry woman says "why aren't you wearing jasmine flowers, don't leave your hair open it isn't good sign". Pooja frowns and looks at her with a 'mind your business' face expression. She runs to the bedroom looks at the mirror, adjusting her eye shadow and make up again.

Subbu arrives with hair all ruffled, smelling of petrol and face painted with dirt from the pollution. Pooja asks him to freshen up. Pooja is anxious to know where he was taking her. She starts to think of all the restaurants he had shown her the previous week. She wondered where the restaurant was as they lived in the outskirts of the city.She calms herself and gets all excited about going to a jazzy restaurant.

Subbu said he was so hungry and couldn't wait to go to this restaurant. He looked at Pooja and said she looked Hot !! They sit on their favourite bike and Subbu drives for almost 45 mins. Pooja's thoughts take her to all 5 star restaurants she knew in the city. He stops his bike and Pooja looks around and she sees no restaurant, Subbu says"let me get some cash from ATM'. Pooja is now restless, Subbu parks his bike and runs into a road side cafeteria. He smiles and tells her you get best biryani here!!.

The food arrives and Pooja and Subbu sit on a rock watching the sea. She smiles at Subbu and tells him the Biryani was indeed the best one she ever had.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

the story is interested for the reason the brief could not be arrived at

mookuthi said...

@ anonymous: I didn't understand what you said ...but keep reading and enjoy

Manaswini said...

It was good, but the end was left hanging, somehow I felt no closure

chilee said...

It is a nice piece. If I have to be more critical, I will say it needs more work. There is more description and less substance.

mookuthi said...

@manas: thanks for reading,this is just a fragment, Not a full story.
@chilee: Thanks...will add more of my creative juices with more substance...:D

Lotus Reads said...

Mookuthi I liked this story very much. It tells me that often we spend time and money on expensive things, little realizing that some of life's best pleasures are free or nearly free. Sitting on the rocks eating biriyani with someone you love, it sure beats sitting at a fancy restaurant with a group of rich but constipated diners! ;)

Write more stories. I enjoyed this one!!!

mookuthi said...

Lotus : Thanks for your comments ...please keep reading:)

Uma said...

I agree with what Lotus said. The style of writing may need work, but the thoughts were precious.

Love
Uma

mookuthi said...

@uma Thanks..:)

Radha said...

Nice work Mookuthi!!

mookuthi said...

Thanks radha:)

syl said...

hi, glad to see that l'Occitane pleased you ;)
was expecting some tragic end while reading the beginning of the story... Ouf!, as we say here (=relief)
did you ever read Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni?
take care and keep writing!
syl

mookuthi said...

syl: thanks for reading. i havent read this authors work..pls let me know some books that are a good read of this author:)